I love this article so much! I’ve never been comfortable with saying things like “good job” or “you’re a good boy” (that one sounds like something you say to a dog). I’ve always tried to tell Asher how much I appreciate the things that he does. When he shares, rather than saying “good boy” I say, “thank you for sharing, you’re being so generous and thoughtful”.
Raf and I have talked at length about how we want to motivate our children and ultimately we’ve decided that we don’t want to motivate them. We want them to motivate themselves. Of course, we will be there to guide them in discovering their own internal motivations.
When I was in college, there were definite times when I chose to take a class that I knew I could get an A in rather than a class that would have challenged me and I regret those decisions all the time. Yes, grades matter in this world, so I do want our children to work hard and do the best they can, but more importantly I want them to challenge themselves, to push their boundaries and to focus on the journey rather than the end point.
I agree with all ten of Shelley’s points and while I’m not perfect at carrying them out 100% of the time yet, I’m sure going to keep working on it.
So go read this!
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