girl

Bennett’s Monthly Growth Series // 9

December 1, 2015 by lauren.anvari@gmail.com 1 Comment

19 pounds 15.7 ounces (78th percentile), 28 inches long (64th percentile), 18 1/4 inches head circumference (97th percentile), first Thanksgiving, transitioned to a convertible car seat, eats everything, started finger feeding, learned to climb stairs, crawls super fast, cruising

This girl is on the move and getting into everything. There was definitely an incident involving Bennett splashing in Asher’s pee filled potty while my mom and I sat a few feet away…yea mommy fail. She’s crawling at light speed. She has successfully learned to climb up the stairs, but has no clue how to go down, so we’re working on that.

B is forming strong opinions and she does NOT like when A rough houses with her. She is not a rough a tumble girl, or at least not yet. She loves playing with her big brother and he constantly makes her laugh however he is finding it challenging sharing with her, so that’s something we need to work on.

Her hair is coming in, little by little. I’m so tempted to put a teeny tiny bowl in the wisps of hair on the top of her head. She still has light colored eyes, that are a cream of wheat color around the pupil and then a bluish green grey. They are quite striking and I’m guessing they’ll probably settle into a hazel color, but lighter than Asher’s.

Ben Bucket has been cruising around on furniture and likes help walking around. She’s eager to walk and keep with with Asher, so much so that her poor head and face are covered in bruises. She doesn’t quite have the balance or coordination yet, but it’ll be interesting to see what happens with that this month.

She continues to be very laid back and easy – she is an absolute delight!

Bennett’s Monthly Growth Series // 8

October 28, 2015 by lauren.anvari@gmail.com Leave a Comment

Sits upright from lying down, crawls, first 3 teeth, pulls to standing, claps hands, tried nuts, first time baby wearing with daddy, first hike

Month 7 was a busy one indeed! Bennett started crawling, first in army style and later on her hands and knees, she sits up on by herself and I’ve even found her standing in her crib. Speaking of which, I now have to literally hold her down occasionally to get her to go to sleep, because she just sits upright and keeps herself awake. So I place my hand on her back and a minute later she’s out, but she struggling to get up nearly the whole time, hopefully this passes quickly.

Unbeknownst to me her first tooth arrived only for me to discover it already poking through her gum. However within a week she was getting her top two front teeth and we we’re so lucky. The poor girl was miserable, she wasn’t sleeping well and was barely eating, but she’s since returned to her usual habits.

Bennett’s days are filled with exploration and trying to gain new achievements. Literally as I’m typing this she was able to pull herself up enough to get a toy off of the coffee table. No where is safe anymore! She is a busy girl and does not like sitting still, which is evident in this month’s photo shoot. She did NOT want to be laying down!

We drove up to NJ this weekend, and we all got to meet sweet baby Parker! Bennett looked giant next to him because of course he was only 6 weeks old, but I have a feeling he’ll catch up quickly since he’s already weighing in at around 14 pounds or so.

We also drove up to Shenandoah one day and took B of her first hike. Raf wore her in the carrier for the first time as we hiked up the mountain while I had the pleasure of giving Asher a piggy back ride most of the way (someone did NOT want to walk), which was only fitting since the last time we were there I was around 7 months pregnant with him.

Bennett’s favorite pass time is still watching everything Asher does. She really loves him and he in turn enthusiastically adores her and she has the bruises to prove it.

I guess I better start baby proofing.

Bennett’s Monthly Growth Series // 4

June 27, 2015 by lauren.anvari@gmail.com Leave a Comment

14 pounds 13.5 ounces (70th percentile), 24 3/4 inches long (71st percentile), 16 5/8 inch head circumference (93rd percentile!), got her first cold, has started grabbing things with her hands, eyes are still blueish grey, no hair growth whatsoever, quick to smile, super easy going, wakes once at night, refuses the bottle, still likes her pacifier but only when sleeping, wants everything in her mouth, babbles constantly

This past month has been slow in terms of milestones. Bennett is actively grabbing now and putting anything she can manage straight into her mouth. While she was quick to role from her tummy to her back she seems to be in no rush to roll from her back to her tummy, which is likely because she HATES tummy time. She loves to babble and to carry on “conversations.”

B Girl has two modes: 1 – totally laid back and chill and 2 – banshee screaming. There is little to no build up or warning. She simply goes from being utterly content and happy to inconsolable. Luckily this only really happens if she gets over tired or over hungry and then it’s almost always my fault because I missed her subtle clues that she wanted to sleep or eat. But boy can she scream. This girl has some serious pipes and a persistence that astounds me. She won’t even nurse when she’s like that, even if the reason she’s like that is because she’s hungry. So I find myself doing all sorts of acrobatics to try to calm her down enough so she’ll eat.

Asher had a cold this month and although I tried it was near impossible to get him to refrain from kissing her on the face and/or hands so of course Bennett got it, but thankfully as far as colds go it was exceedingly mild. Bennett also ran a low fever after receiving her 4 month vaccines and was only content to be held skin to skin and I soaked all the cuddles in. Skin to skin really does work miracles.

Now that Bennett is able to grab things, Asher finds it super entertaining to give her all the toys at once. SHE MUST HAVE OPTIONS! This normally results in her being buried under a pile of toys and pacifiers but it’s so fun to watch their interactions develop.

Raf tried giving Bennett a bottle once while I was out this month and try as he may she flat out refused. He tried several different kinds but nothing worked. I too refused the bottle as a baby. This girl is so much like me that it’s kinda freaky, in the most endearing way possible of course.

On Having a Daughter

March 30, 2015 by lauren.anvari@gmail.com 4 Comments

For as long as I can remember I have always wanted to have children. I wanted at least three children and at least one of each sex. After we had Asher and got our boy, we were really hoping for a little girl and we feel incredibly blessed to have received Bennett.

I’ve always been a feminist. I’ve always fiercely believed in and advocated for the equality of men and women. I’ve hated gender stereotyping and pigeon holing. I’ve done my best to raise my son without any such gendered expectations imposed upon him. I’ve taught him that there is no such thing as boy or girl colors, rather there are only colors. His favorite color is currently bright pink and while, I hate the color pink I’m happy that he loves it and hope he is never made to feel like he shouldn’t. I try and let him choose his preferences when there is an opportunity to so as not to have my deeply ingrained, society influenced, gendered views influence him.

However since having a daughter, which, I admit hasn’t even been a month, I’ve been appalled to notice that I’ve been thinking about her future mainly in terms of her physical appearance. I keep hoping that she’ll be beautiful and imagining what she’ll look like as though beauty is the most important thing a woman can aspire to. This isn’t me! So, where is it coming from?!

As a woman, I am not above society’s influence. I feel constant pressure to conform to societal expectations of beauty for women, even though I know that my value is SO much more than that.

I have never once thought about how I hope Asher will grow up to be a good looking man, so why do I now find myself hoping that Bennett will grow up to be a good looking woman? It’s shallow and makes me incredibly uncomfortable to confront this part of myself but how can I hope to change and raise children that are better than me if I am unwilling to closely examine and work on my short comings?

I’d like to think that I hope she’s beautiful because that will make life easier for her in a world where woman are already disadvantaged, but I’m sure that isn’t all of it.

I honestly care most about the depth of her character (and Asher’s too for that matter) rather than the way she looks, and yet I find myself dwelling on the latter. I need to practice thought catching. I don’t want anyone to ever make her feel that her self-worth is mainly skin deep, but especially not her own mother. I want to empower her to be confident, to believe in herself, to value service to humanity, to have an outward facing orientation, to dream big and to be driven to chase those dreams. In order for those to happen, I have to lead by example to the best of my abilities and that means constantly working and striving to improve.

Bennett’s Monthly Growth Series // 1

March 27, 2015 by lauren.anvari@gmail.com Leave a Comment

super cuddly – only wants to sleep touching mommy – hates bath time – got thrush – had a tongue tie clipped – went from 25th to 43rd percentile in weight – loves to eat – started to smile – looks most like mommy but has daddy’s feet

I can hardly believe it’s been one month already! Time has flown by! It is truly a delight to be this little girl’s mother, not that she does much more than sleep, eat and poop at the moment, but still. I love this tiny person so much! It’s amazing how your heart and your capacity to love just expand when you have another child.

Asher loves his little sister. His voice takes on a tender, sweet tone whenever he speaks about her and he showers her in hugs and kisses, which considering that everyone and anyone else has to beg for his affection, is pretty amazing. Seeing him interact with her makes my heart want to explode. I’m still not sure how I’m going to navigate being a mother of two once the last of the grandparents leave next week, but I’m sure I’ll figure it out.This past month, we’ve had first my parents and then Raf’s parents here the whole time and I’m so thankful to them for all the help, because it’s allowed me to be on a Babymoon with my daughter. We’ve had the time to snuggle and nurse and sleep and bond uninterrupted and I feel so blessed to have had the opportunity to do so.

This girl is SO cuddly! I hoped I would get a cuddly child and that is exactly what I’ve gotten. It is nearly impossible to get her to sleep anywhere other than on me or right next to me and touching me in some way, which means that we have been bed sharing fairly often. I have been loving all the snuggles that this allows but I’m also terrified that she’ll be smothered or that Asher will come bounding into our bed and crush her. I’ve been working on getting to to sleep in her bassinet, but as often as it works, it also fails and she wakes up shortly after being separated from me. I’ve found that putting a rolled blanket next to her, swaddling, and having a space heater near by helps trick her into thinking she’s still next to me. Baby wearing works for when I need to get stuff done, but after nearly 10 months of being practically sedentary (I know, I know) I’m so weak that I find it kills my back after a while, but then again, even just standing up feels like a chore…I really need to get back to being active again. I’m hoping that she gets a bit better at sleeping apart from me before Raf’s mom leaves next week, because I certainly won’t be able to sit on the couch all day and hold her while she sleeps once I’m Asher’s sole source of entertainment again.

I’m just so excited to get to know her and to watch her personality unfold, but I’m also acutely aware that these sweet moments are fleeting so I’m cherishing and reviling in every second of it. With Asher I kept looking forward to when he’d do the next thing or reach the next milestone, but this time I know how quickly each stage passes and that some things may not last. I’m relishing every cuddle and snuggle.