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Bennett’s Monthly Growth Series // 8

October 28, 2015 by lauren.anvari@gmail.com Leave a Comment

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Sits upright from lying down, crawls, first 3 teeth, pulls to standing, claps hands, tried nuts, first time baby wearing with daddy, first hike

Month 7 was a busy one indeed! Bennett started crawling, first in army style and later on her hands and knees, she sits up on by herself and I’ve even found her standing in her crib. Speaking of which, I now have to literally hold her down occasionally to get her to go to sleep, because she just sits upright and keeps herself awake. So I place my hand on her back and a minute later she’s out, but she struggling to get up nearly the whole time, hopefully this passes quickly.

Unbeknownst to me her first tooth arrived only for me to discover it already poking through her gum. However within a week she was getting her top two front teeth and we we’re so lucky. The poor girl was miserable, she wasn’t sleeping well and was barely eating, but she’s since returned to her usual habits.

Bennett’s days are filled with exploration and trying to gain new achievements. Literally as I’m typing this she was able to pull herself up enough to get a toy off of the coffee table. No where is safe anymore! She is a busy girl and does not like sitting still, which is evident in this month’s photo shoot. She did NOT want to be laying down!

We drove up to NJ this weekend, and we all got to meet sweet baby Parker! Bennett looked giant next to him because of course he was only 6 weeks old, but I have a feeling he’ll catch up quickly since he’s already weighing in at around 14 pounds or so.

We also drove up to Shenandoah one day and took B of her first hike. Raf wore her in the carrier for the first time as we hiked up the mountain while I had the pleasure of giving Asher a piggy back ride most of the way (someone did NOT want to walk), which was only fitting since the last time we were there I was around 7 months pregnant with him.

Bennett’s favorite pass time is still watching everything Asher does. She really loves him and he in turn enthusiastically adores her and she has the bruises to prove it.

I guess I better start baby proofing.

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Filed Under: Bennett's Growth Series Tagged With: 8 months old, baby, girl, infant, milestones, monthly growth series, picture

Bennett’s Monthly Growth Series // 4

June 27, 2015 by lauren.anvari@gmail.com Leave a Comment

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14 pounds 13.5 ounces (70th percentile), 24 3/4 inches long (71st percentile), 16 5/8 inch head circumference (93rd percentile!), got her first cold, has started grabbing things with her hands, eyes are still blueish grey, no hair growth whatsoever, quick to smile, super easy going, wakes once at night, refuses the bottle, still likes her pacifier but only when sleeping, wants everything in her mouth, babbles constantly

This past month has been slow in terms of milestones. Bennett is actively grabbing now and putting anything she can manage straight into her mouth. While she was quick to role from her tummy to her back she seems to be in no rush to roll from her back to her tummy, which is likely because she HATES tummy time. She loves to babble and to carry on “conversations.”

B Girl has two modes: 1 – totally laid back and chill and 2 – banshee screaming. There is little to no build up or warning. She simply goes from being utterly content and happy to inconsolable. Luckily this only really happens if she gets over tired or over hungry and then it’s almost always my fault because I missed her subtle clues that she wanted to sleep or eat. But boy can she scream. This girl has some serious pipes and a persistence that astounds me. She won’t even nurse when she’s like that, even if the reason she’s like that is because she’s hungry. So I find myself doing all sorts of acrobatics to try to calm her down enough so she’ll eat.

Asher had a cold this month and although I tried it was near impossible to get him to refrain from kissing her on the face and/or hands so of course Bennett got it, but thankfully as far as colds go it was exceedingly mild. Bennett also ran a low fever after receiving her 4 month vaccines and was only content to be held skin to skin and I soaked all the cuddles in. Skin to skin really does work miracles.

Now that Bennett is able to grab things, Asher finds it super entertaining to give her all the toys at once. SHE MUST HAVE OPTIONS! This normally results in her being buried under a pile of toys and pacifiers but it’s so fun to watch their interactions develop.

Raf tried giving Bennett a bottle once while I was out this month and try as he may she flat out refused. He tried several different kinds but nothing worked. I too refused the bottle as a baby. This girl is so much like me that it’s kinda freaky, in the most endearing way possible of course.

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Filed Under: Bennett's Growth Series Tagged With: 4 months old, baby, girl, infant, milestones, monthly growth series, monthly photo, picture, updates

Bennett’s Monthly Growth Series // 2

April 28, 2015 by lauren.anvari@gmail.com Leave a Comment

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11 pounds 9.5 ounces (60th percentile), 22 3/4 inches long (65th percentile), 15.5 inches head circumference (83rd percentile), got thrush again, smiles readily, on the verge of laughing, discovered her fists and loves to gum them, tolerates bath time, sleeps for a 6-8 hour stretch at night, usually wakes up once or twice at night, has a bedtime schedule, still very cuddly, extremely impatient – now means NOW, looks like a clone of mommy

My little Rosebud is two months old! I can’t believe how fast the time is flying. I remember things moving much slower when Asher was her age. Bennett is an absolute delight. We are all entranced by her. She is quick to smile and very well natured. She has periods of fussiness in the evenings, but I’ve found that as long as I hold her OR leave her alone (one of those two) she’ll settle quickly. I normally put her down to bed awake and she falls asleep on her own with no fuss, I just make sure to replace her pacifier a couple times. It’s wonderful, I feel like I’ve reclaimed my evenings! She loves to nurse and when she’s ready she isn’t at all patient about it, the girl knows what she wants and isn’t afraid to make herself heard.

She is basically my clone. The resemblance is absolutely uncanny! I feel like I’m looking at a picture of myself when I was a baby. What is my face doing on this tiny body?! It’s so weird, but after two years of seeing 99% Rafaan in Asher, it’s really fun to see my genes shine through.

Asher is still totally besotted. He handles her so sweetly and demonstrates a tenderness in her presence that is solely reserved for her. It makes my heart swell to bursting to see their interactions.

There is something so special about having a daughter. Neither Raf or I have sisters, so this feels totally novel and exciting, not that she’s really anything other than just a baby right now, but still. After having 3 sons my grandparents were blessed with a daughter and my grandfather always told me, he felt complete as a parent once my aunt came along, and I totally know how he felt now.

Still trying to figure out how to function with two. Parenting is the easy part, making dinner…not so much, but I’ll get there…hopefully. Also whoever said newborns were a ton of work never had a toddler, but more on that later.

Benny Girl is filling out quite nicely, I am LOVING all the rolls she’s getting. Asher at 2 months was 9.5 ounces lighter and half an inch longer, so I’m really enjoying all the chubby baby kisses!

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Filed Under: Bennett's Growth Series Tagged With: 2 months old, baby, baby girl, cloth diapers, growth series, infant, milestones, monthly growth series, photos, pictures

Asher’s Monthly Growth Series // 9

September 12, 2013 by lauren.anvari@gmail.com Leave a Comment

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9 months!-18lbs 14oz-29 1/4 inches long-started finger feeding-cruises around-dances to music by rocking side to side-learned to suck from a straw-loves food and eats everything-has developed separation anxiety, especially with mommy-grinds his teeth.

Filed Under: Asher's Growth Series Tagged With: 9 months old, baby, infant, milestones, monthly growth series, monthly photo, photo

An Adventure in Solids

September 3, 2013 by lauren.anvari@gmail.com Leave a Comment

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We waited until Asher was 6 months old before feeding him solids.  I agonized over what to give him first.  I wanted it to be something flavorful and with a high nutrient content and the standard rice cereal just wasn’t cutting it.  I went back and forth between avocado and egg yolk.  Ultimately, egg yolk won out.

So I carefully boiled an egg, removed all the egg white and then blended the yolk with some breast milk.  Asher was more than eager for me to feed him this new and exciting concoction.  He had been studying us closely whenever we ate anything and was clearly excited to experience this intriguing process for himself.

I scooped out a spoonful of the egg yolk and as the spoon approached his mouth, he leaned forward and opened up as wide as he could.  He then closed his mouth on the spoon and a look of sheer befuddlement flashed over his face, to quickly be replaced with one of absolute disgust and indignation as he promptly began gagging in an attempt to expel the vial substance from his mouth.

This was our first introduction into solids.  Not to worry though, things steadily improved from there.  Although, admittedly, after such a start it could only get better.

As recommended by his pediatrician, we did single introduction, however I didn’t wait 4 days for most foods.  If I was giving him something that was more allergenic then I definitely waited longer, but otherwise I’d give him something new every 1-2 days.  Since we waited until he was 6 months old to introduce foods to him, his pediatrician assured us that we could give him anything and everything.

I was determined to make my own baby food and since we were gifted with a Baby Bullet by a dear friend it was such a breeze.  We used it for a solid 2 months and Asher was sucking food down like he was hollow, so I was using it a lot!  Whoever said that a baby will let you know when they are full by pushing food out of their mouth, obviously hadn’t met my son.  Asher would eat and eat until he had stuffed himself so much that he vomited all over the place.  After this happened once on Raf’s watch and once on mine, we quickly learnt that we couldn’t rely on him to send us any signals and thus adjusted accordingly.

Even though I made the majority of his food, I tended to throw a baby food pouch in my bag for when we were out of the house, because they were SO convenient and easy.  I really loved the ones by Plum Organics, but there are lots of different brands and they all come in TONS of flavors.  They also made introducing new foods super easy and simple.

When Asher was 7 months old I began tentatively attempting to give him food that was more textured but he flat out refused to eat anything that wasn’t pureed.  He even began smelling his food before deciding whether or not to open his mouth, in fact he would only eat certain vegetables if they had been roasted and seasoned (frankly I don’t blame him).  Shortly after he turned 8 months old I just decided one day that he was perfectly capable of finger feeding himself (since he was rather adept with the puffs), so I stopped blending his food and simply gave him small chunks of stuff that were on the softer side and lo and behold he happily fed himself!

Some of his first foods:  egg, avocado, banana, sweet potato, yam, multi-grain cereal, rice cereal, peas, squash, zucchini, cauliflower, broccoli, blueberry, pear, peach, pasta, chicken, beef, cheese, greek yogurt, hummus, black beans, watermelon, plum, quinoa, spinach, kale, asparagus, nectarine, carrot, bread.

He now eats whatever we are eating and pretty much loves it all.  We’re so lucky and I can only hope he continues to be such an easy going eater, especially considering that we have adopted a plant based diet, but more on that later.

Filed Under: My life Tagged With: 6 months old, baby, baby bullet, baby food, baby organics, blended, feeding, finger feeding, first foods, first solids, food, home made baby food, infant, infant food, puffs, pureed, solids

Breastfeeding // State Laws on Public Nursing

August 6, 2013 by lauren.anvari@gmail.com Leave a Comment

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I recently read this article, which subsequently inspired me to put together this map.  Some people feel that there are right ways and wrong ways to breastfeed in public and that some of those ways are immodest.  I don’t agree.  Nothing about breastfeeding is immodest.  Luckily, I have never been asked to cover up, move or discontinue while breastfeeding in public, but if it does ever happen I will stand up for my right to feed my child.  It is important to know the laws regarding breastfeeding, because when we are armed with knowledge it makes it easier to bring about change.  So in honor of National Breastfeeding Month I made this map, which gives you the state laws on public breastfeeding at a glance.  For the full laws in each state see below.  I recommend reading the laws of your state carefully because there are some subtle differences in terminology that can make a big difference.  For example Virginia’s law states that a woman may breastfeed in any public place owned by the state, while Florida’s states that you can breastfeed in any public or private place.

Federal law:

Pub. L. No. 106-058, § 647: Notwithstanding any other provision of law, a woman may breastfeed her child at any location in a Federal building or on Federal property, if the woman and her child are otherwise authorized to be present at the location.

State Laws:

Alabama

Ala. Code § 22-1-13 (2006): A mother may breastfeed her child in any location, public or private, where the mother is otherwise authorized to be present.

Alaska

Alaska Stat. § 29.25.080: A municipality may not enact an ordinance that prohibits or restricts a woman breast-feeding a child in a public or private location where the woman and child are otherwise authorized to be.

Arizona

Ariz. Rev. Stat. Ann § 41-1443 (2006): A mother is entitled to breast-feed in any area of a public place or a place of public accommodation where the mother is otherwise lawfully present.

Arkansas

Ark. Stat. Ann. § 20-27-2001 (2007): A woman may breastfeed a child in a public place or any place where other individuals are present.

California

Cal. Civil Code § 43.3 (1997): Notwithstanding any other provision of law, a mother may breastfeed her child in any location, public or private, except the private home or residence of another, where the mother and the child are otherwise authorized to be present.

Colorado

Colo. Rev. Stat. § 25-6-302 (2004): A mother may breastfeed in any place she has a right to be.

Connecticut

Conn. Gen. Stat. § 46a-64: It shall be a discriminatory practice in violation of this section . . . for a place of public accommodation, resort or amusement to restrict or limit the right of a mother to breast-feed her child; and § 53-34b: No person may restrict or limit the right of a mother to breast-feed her child.

Delaware

Del. Code Ann. tit. 31 § 310 (1997): Notwithstanding any provisions of law to the contrary, a mother shall be entitled to breast-feed her child in any location of a place of public accommodation wherein the mother is otherwise permitted.

District of Columbia

D.C. Code Ann. § 2-1402.82(c)(1): A woman shall have the right to breastfeed her child in any location, public or private, where she has the right to be with her child, without respect to whether the mother’s breast or any part of it is uncovered during or incidental to the breastfeeding of her child.

Florida

Fla. Stat. § 383.015(1) (1993):  A mother may breastfeed her baby in any location, public or private, where the mother is otherwise authorized to be, irrespective of whether the nipple of the mother’s breast is uncovered during or incidental to the breastfeeding.

Georgia

Ga. Code § 31-1-9 (1999): [A] mother may breast-feed her baby in any location, public or private, where the mother is otherwise authorized to be irrespective of whether the nipple of the mother’s breast is uncovered during or incidental to the breast-feeding.

Hawaii

Hawaii Rev. Stat. § 489.21: It is a discriminatory practice to deny, or attempt to deny, the full and equal enjoyment of the goods, services, facilities, privileges, advantages, and accommodations of a place of public accommodations to a woman because she is breastfeeding a child.

Idaho

No state law protecting the right to breastfeed in public. The only law with regards to breastfeeding has to do with jury exemption.  

Illinois

Ill. Rev. Stat. ch. 740 § 137 (2004): A mother may breastfeed her baby in any location, public or private, where the mother is otherwise authorized to be, irrespective of whether the nipple of the mother’s breast is uncovered during or incidental to the breastfeeding; however a mother considering whether to breastfeed her baby in a place of worship shall comport her behavior with the norms appropriate in that place of worship.

Indiana
Ind. Code § 16-35-6: Notwithstanding any other law, a woman may breastfeed her child anywhere the woman has a right to be.
Iowa

Iowa Code § 135.30A (2002): Notwithstanding any other provision of law to the contrary, a woman may breast-feed the woman’s own child in any public place where the woman’s presence is otherwise authorized.

Kansas

Kan. Stat. Ann.  § 65-1,248(b): A mother may breastfeed in any place she has a right to be.

Kentucky

Ky. Rev. Stat. § 211-755(1) (2006): Notwithstanding any other provision of the law, a mother may breast-feed her baby or express breast milk in any location, public or private, where the mother is otherwise authorized to be.

Louisiana

La. Rev. Stat. Ann. § 51. 2247.1(B) (2001): Notwithstanding any other provision of law to the contrary, a mother may breastfeed her baby in any place of public accommodation, resort, or amusement.

Maine

Me. Rev. Stat. Ann. tit. 5, § 4634 (2001): Notwithstanding any other provision of law, a mother may breast-feed her baby in any location, public or private, where the mother is otherwise authorized to be.

Maryland

Md. Health-General Code Ann. § 20-801 (2003): (a) A mother may breast-feed her child in any public or private location in which the mother and child are authorized to be. (b) A person may not restrict or limit the right of a mother to breast-feed her child.

Massachusetts

Mass. Gen. Laws Ann. ch. 111 § 221(a) (2008): A mother may breastfeed her child in any public place or establishment or place which is open to and accepts or solicits the patronage of the general public and where the mother and her child may otherwise lawfully be present.

Michigan

Mich. Comp. Laws § 41.181, § 67.1aa & § 117.4i et seq. (1994): Public nudity does not include any of the following:

(a) A woman’s breastfeeding of a baby whether or not the nipple or areola is exposed during or incidental to the feeding.

Minnesota

Minn. Stat. §145.905: A mother may breast-feed in any location, public or private, where the mother and child are otherwise authorized to be, irrespective of whether the nipple of the mother’s breast is uncovered during or incidental to the breast-feeding.

Mississippi

Miss. Code Ann. § 17-25-7 (2006): A mother may breast-feed her child in any location, public or private, where the mother is otherwise authorized to be, without respect to whether the mother’s breast or any part of it is covered during or incidental to the breast-feeding.

Missouri

Mo. Rev. Stat. § 191.918 (1999): Notwithstanding any other provision of law to the contrary, a mother may, with as much discretion as possible, breast-feed her child in any public or private location where the mother is otherwise authorized to be.

Montana

Mont. Code Ann. § 50-19-501 (2002): Provides that the breastfeeding of a child in any location, public or private, cannot be considered a nuisance, indecent exposure, sexual conduct, or obscenity.

Nebraska

2011 Neb. Laws, L.B. 197: A mother may breastfeed her child in any public or private location where the mother is otherwise authorized to be.
Nevada
Nev. Rev. Stat. § 201.232(2) (1995): Notwithstanding any other provision of law, a mother may breast feed her child in any public or private location where the mother is otherwise authorized to be, irrespective of whether the nipple of the mother’s breast is uncovered during or incidental to the breast feeding.

New Hampshire

N.H. Rev. Stat. Ann. § 132:10-d (1999): Breast-feeding a child does not constitute an act of indecent exposure and to restrict or limit the right of a mother to breast-feed her child is discriminatory.

New Jersey

N.J. Rev. Stat. § 26:4B-4/5 (1997): Notwithstanding any provision of law to the contrary, a mother shall be entitled to breast feed her baby in any location of a place of public accommodation, resort or amusement wherein the mother is otherwise permitted.

New Mexico

N.M. Stat. Ann. § 28-20-1 (1999): A mother may breastfeed her child in any location, public or private, where the mother is otherwise authorized to be present.

New York

N.Y. Civil Rights Law § 79-e (1994): Notwithstanding any other provision of law, a mother may breast feed  her  baby  in  any  location, public or  private, where the mother is otherwise authorized to be, irrespective of whether  or  not  the nipple of the mother’s breast is covered during or incidental to the breast feeding.

North Carolina

N.C. Gen. Stat. § 14-190.9 (1993): Notwithstanding any other provision of law, a woman may breast feed in any public or private location where she is otherwise authorized to be, irrespective of whether the nipple of the mother’s breast is uncovered during or incidental to the breast feeding.

North Dakota

N.D. Cent. Code § 23-12-16: If the woman acts in a discreet and modest manner, a woman may breastfeed her child in any location, public or private, where the woman and child are otherwise authorized to be.

Ohio

Ohio Rev. Code Ann. § 3781.55 (2005): A mother is entitled to breast-feed her baby in any location of a place of public accommodation wherein the mother otherwise is permitted.

Oklahoma

Okla. Stat. tit. 63, § 1-234 (2004): The Legislature hereby declares that breast-feeding a baby constitutes a basic act of nurturing to which every baby has a right and which should be encouraged in the interests of maternal and child health. In furtherance of this right, a mother may breast-feed her baby in any location where the mother is otherwise authorized to be

Oregon

Or. Rev. Stat. § 109.001 (1999): A woman may breast-feed her child in a public place.

Pennsylvania

P.L. 90, No. 28, Cl. 35 (enacted July 8, 2007): The Freedom to Breastfeed Act permits a mother to nurse her child in public; and provides that breastfeeding may not be considered a nuisance, indecent exposure, sexual conduct or obscenity.

Rhode Island
R.I. Gen. Laws § 23-13.5-1 (2008): A woman may feed her child by bottle or breast in any place open to the public.

South Carolina

S.C. Code Ann. § 63-5-40(A)(B) (2008): A woman may breastfeed her child in any location where the mother and her child are authorized to be. Breastfeeding a child in a location where the mother is authorized to be is not considered indecent exposure.

South Dakota

S.D. Codified Laws Ann. § 22-22-24.1 and § 22-24A-2 (2002): South Dakota law exempts breastfeeding from public indecency laws. “Nudity”…this term does not include a mother’s breast-feeding of her baby irrespective of whether or not the nipple is covered during or incidental to feeding.

Tennessee

Tenn. Code Ann. § 68-58-101 and 102 (2006):  A mother may breastfeed in any public or private place she is authorized to be. Breastfeeding shall not be considered public indecency or nudity, obscene, or sexual conduct.

Texas

Tex. Health Code Ann. § 165.002 (1995): A mother is entitled to breast-feed her baby in any location in which the mother is authorized to be.

Utah

Utah Code Ann. § 17-15-25 (1995): The county legislative body may not prohibit a woman’s breast feeding in any location where she otherwise may rightfully be, irrespective of whether the breast is uncovered during or incidental to the breast feeding.

Vermont

Vt. Stat. Ann. tit. 9, § 4502 (j) (2002): Notwithstanding any other provision of law, a mother may breastfeed her child in any place of public accommodation in which the mother and child would otherwise have a legal right to be.

Virginia

Va. Code § 2.2-1147.1 (2002): Notwithstanding any other provision of law, a woman may breast-feed her child at any location where that woman would otherwise be allowed on property that is owned, leased or controlled by the Commonwealth as defined in § 2.2-1147.

Washington

Wash. Rev. Code § 49.60.30(g): [It is] the right of a mother to breastfeed her child in any place of public resort, accommodation, assemblage, or amusement.

West Virginia

No state law protecting the right to breastfeed in public but if this bill gets passed that could change. 

Wisconsin

Wis. Stat. § 253.16: A mother may breast−feed her child in any public or private location where the mother and child are otherwise authorized to be. In such a location, no person may prohibit a mother from breast−feeding her child, direct a mother to move to a different location to breast−feed her child, direct a mother to cover her child or breast while breast−feeding, or otherwise restrict a mother from breast−feeding her child as provided in this section.

Wyoming

Wyo. Stat. § 6-4-201 (2007): Wyoming law exempts breastfeeding from public indecency laws. The act of breastfeeding an infant child, including breastfeeding in any place where the woman may legally be, does not constitute public indecency

Resources:

NCSL Breastfeeding Laws

Nursing Freedom Breastfeeding Laws

Breastfeeding Law – know your rights – a great resource for all laws pertaining to breastfeeding, not just the ones to do with public nursing.

Filed Under: Breastfeeding Tagged With: baby, breastfeeding, federal breastfeeding law, infant, law, maternal and child health, mother, national breastfeeding month, nursing, public, public breastfeeding, public breastfeeding law, state laws, world breastfeeding week

Sleep Training // Is It Harmful?

August 2, 2013 by lauren.anvari@gmail.com 1 Comment

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Sleep training is definitely a hot button topic.  Whether you’re all for sleep training or adamantly against it, you’ve probably felt judged at some point, which leaves you feeling like you have to defend your decision to some parent who is in the other camp.

If you’ve been reading my blog a while, you know that I’m pro sleep training but I don’t believe that it is right for every family.  I’ve always said that if what you’re doing is working for you, then by all means continue.  If you’re happy and the baby is happy and you aren’t walking around like a zombie from lack of sleep then go about your business.  But if you’re miserable, cranky and at your wits end, then perhaps sleep training is something you may want to look into.

There are a lot of misconceptions out there about sleep training.  Allow me to go over some of the ones I’ve encountered:

MYTH: All methods of sleep training involve letting your child cry.  FACT: This simply isn’t true.  There are a variety of methods and some of them don’t involve crying.

MYTH: The methods that do involve crying, require you to leave your child in their room until they either cry themselves to sleep or throw up from screaming so much.  FACT: I have literally never encountered a sleep training method that involved putting your baby to bed and leaving and not going back in no matter how long they cry.  This, to me is neglect.  The methods that involve crying, have the parents going back in frequently to check on and reassure the baby.

MYTH: Letting your baby cry causes brain damage.  FACT:  This isn’t true.  Severe neglect in infants leads to their brains not developing the way they should, but allowing them to cry while they learn to self sooth, is in no way going to lead to brain damage. (1)

MYTH: Sleep training will alter your baby’s personality or lead to personality disorders later in life. FACT: There hasn’t been any research to back this up.  In fact, if your child is sleeping better and more rested they are likely to be much more pleasant and cheerful, then they would otherwise be, which in turn leads to an increase in family well-being. (1)

MYTH: Sleep training increases the risk of Sudden Infant Death Syndrome (SIDS).  FACT: Sleep training has not been linked to SIDS, however bed sharing/co-sleeping has and I did a whole post about that, which can be found here.

So now that we have debunked some myths, I will say that not all sleep training methods are suitable for all children.  You have to find the one that works best for your family.  The Journal of Sleep did a review of the 52 best sleep studies and found that there were no differences in the effectiveness in the leading sleep training methods and furthermore none of the studies identified adverse secondary effects of participating in a sleep training program. (1)  With that said however, there will always be instances where sleep training could be harmful.  The following except from a developmental psychologist and one of the authors of the book Bedtiming, addresses this issue:

“It depends because some kids are particularly sensitive to separations; it depends because parents can get so resentful of failed attempts at sleep training that they treat the child poorly and that, in turn, has detrimental effects (and we can’t tease apart these effects from the amount of crying the child is doing); it depends because some children’s crying, even the most minimal amounts, sends some vulnerable women into a tailspin of postpartum depression and we know that’s not good for kids in the long run; it depends because some children become physiologically so aroused when they cry that they vomit or hyperventilate and, well, that’s not good for some kids either; it depends because some children cry MORE when they’re being rocked to sleep by well-intentioned parents than they would if they were left alone and ignoring that need that some kids have to be left alone (which they can’t articulate) may actually be equally detrimental to some kids; it depends because many couples go through significant marital conflict when it comes to deciding how long to let their baby cry and marital conflict has repeatedly and consistently been found to have long-term negative consequences for children. So… how would you tease out whether it was the length of crying during sleep training or the marital conflict about the crying that made the biggest dent in a child’s developmental outcomes? (You COULD do it, but the study would be very complex and it hasn’t been conducted yet). So, yeah, it depends (and I could go on for much longer about all the factors that make this seemingly simple question so very, very complex).” (2)

Baring abnormal circumstances, sleep training of any form is actually beneficial. (1)  This, article by Rachel from My Baby Sleep Guide, does a really good job at summarizing the previous research around what is arguably the most controversial form of sleep training; The Cry It Out Method.

So as you can see, the research shows that sleep training isn’t detrimental however, that doesn’t mean that every single parent should sleep train.  Every parent needs to make this decision for themselves.  If one method isn’t working for them, or they think it’s having a negative effect on their child, then they should stop, take a break and try something else.  No matter what you or anyone decides, there shouldn’t be any judgement involved.  Parenting is hard enough, without also being judged by some other parent that thinks they know what’s best for your family and your child.  My advice is this; even if you adamantly disagree with someone else’s parenting choice, you should just agree to disagree and support each other in your decisions.

1. Mindell, J. A., Kuhn, B., Lewin, D. S., Meltzer, L. J., & Sadeh, A. (2006). Behavioral Treatment of Bedtime Problems and Night Wakings in Infants and Young Children. Sleep , 1263-1276.

2. Granic, Isabela. (2009, June 19). What are the long-term outcomes of letting your baby cry while sleep-training? Retrieved 8 2, 2013, from Child of Mind: Developmental Science and Everyday Parenting: http://bedtiming.typepad.com/bed-timing/2009/06/what-are-the-longterm-outcomes-of-letting-your-baby-cry-while-sleeptraining.html (SCROLL DOWN FOR ARTICLE)

Filed Under: Sleep training Tagged With: baby, cry it out, education, infant, myths, parenting, sleep, sleep habits, sleep training

Sleep Training // Part 2

July 5, 2013 by lauren.anvari@gmail.com 1 Comment

It’s happened.  It has finally happened.  I night weaned Asher and he now sleeps through the night (for the most part).

I was waiting until Asher turned six months old and started solid foods to see if he would sleep through the night on his own, and well, that kind of happened but he still needed a bit of a nudge.  At his 6 month check up, his pediatrician reiterated what I already knew and told me that he didn’t need to eat during the night.  However right around this time we had a lot going on, with a bunch of house guests, a wedding, a massive growth spurt and general chaos, so I decided to wait until all the craziness died down to night wean, which was really  good, because the aforementioned growth spurt hit which had him waking up every 2 hours during the night demanding to be fed. right. NOW.

So on Monday, June 24th, I told Raf that tonight was the night.  I was going cold turkey.  I wasn’t going to nurse Asher and he was probably going to be quite upset about it so we should brace ourselves for the sleep loss ahead.

We went about his bedtime routine as normal: bath, bottle, prayers, stories, song and bed by 7pm, but this time I told him that I wasn’t going to nurse him during the night and that it was ‘sleep sleep’ time and that he could nurse again in the morning.   He didn’t wake up (well, he did, but it wasn’t a real wake up and he put himself back to sleep before I had even fully awoken).  The next morning I was amazed when he woke up at 7am, but I told Raf that this was probably just a fluke and that it was likely just the tale end of his growth spurt so we shouldn’t get too comfortable because surely tonight we would witness his dissatisfaction.  Well, Tuesday night the same thing happened.  He slept through the night, with only the briefest of wake ups.  12 hours.  I couldn’t believe it and was now cautiously optimistic.  Maybe, just maybe, he had figured this whole thing out.  My little boy, so easy, so happy, so agreeable.  Of course he would sleep through the night with little else from me than just explaining to him how things would go down.  My sweet angel.

Wednesday night  he SCREAMED for over an hour between 3am and 5am.  He wasn’t crying, he was screaming.  He was MAD.  I went in when he first woke up and patted him and told him it was ‘sleep sleep’ time and that I loved him and that everything was okay, then I left.  I went back in every 20 minutes after that until he fell asleep.  I think it was 3 more times.  I felt terrible.  It was awful to listen to him screaming like that and thrashing his tiny body about in his crib, but the previous 2 nights had proven to me that he in fact did not need to nurse.  So I kept my head down and pushed on through.  The next morning he awoke at around 7am and was all smiles and babbles, which definitely helped eased the heart ache I was feeling.

Thursday night I was prepared for a repeat of the night before but instead he legitimately slept through the night without even a peep.

Friday night he woke up screaming around 2am. So I went in and did the whole thing: pat, kiss, sooth but as soon as I left he stuck his thumb in his mouth, rolled over and went to sleep.

And that was that.   He now sleeps through the night.  Of course, in the past week he has been trying really hard to learn to crawl so there have been several nights when I wake up in the wee hours of the morning to the sounds of him cooing and grunting in his crib as he attempts forward motion.  I just go in, put him on his back and tell him it’s time to sleep and he goes right back to sleep.  It is amazing.

I’m not sure if it’s because of the night weaning, or because he’s started solids, or simply because of the summer heat, but he seems to want to nurse 1 or 2 more times during the day.  I’m not complaining, I get to gaze down into these hazel gray eyes. There isn’t a sweeter view in the whole world.

photo (20)If you’re interested in reading about how we trained Asher to fall asleep on his own, check out: Sleep Training // Part 1.

Filed Under: My life, Sleep training Tagged With: 12 hours of sleep, 6 months old, baby, growth spurt, infant, night weaning, sleep through the night, sleep training

For Your Reading Pleasure // I Read All The Baby Sleep Books

June 1, 2013 by lauren.anvari@gmail.com Leave a Comment

Ava Neyer

This post by Ava Neyer touches on how confusing and frustrating infant sleep patterns can be and the advice out there isn’t much clearer.  You can basically find something to support any field of thought on infant sleep if you dig deep enough.  I’ve heard a lot of people say that their babies “just aren’t good sleepers.”  While, this may be true in some instances, unless you’re willing to try a lot of different methods, you shouldn’t put the blame on your baby like that. If your baby isn’t responding well to one method, move on to another and if that doesn’t work try something else and so on.  There are so many varied methods of sleep training that you should be able to find one that works for you and your baby.  Don’t give up.

So read this.

On another note, I am once again going out of town.  This time I am heading north to the tiny and lovely town of Eliot, Maine to spend a week with my parents before we all head back to the D.C. area for my younger brother’s wedding.  I will be taking Asher with me, but sadly Rafaan, can’t spare the vacation days so it will be my first time flying alone with the babe.  While, I’m going to miss my hubs immensely, I’m so thankful to him for understanding my need to spend quality time with my parents and giving me his blessing to take his son away from him for a whole week.  I do not think I’d be able to do the same if our roles were reversed.  He truly is the better half of us.

Needless to say, posting may be light while I’m away, but I promise to document our trip thoroughly.   I have a lot of requested posts that I am currently working on in draft form in the queue.  So, if you’ve requested a certain topic, rest assured it’s coming and thank you for your patience.

Filed Under: For Your Reading Pleasure, My life Tagged With: article, baby, infant, parenting, sleep, sleep training, travel

Woombie Review

May 16, 2013 by lauren.anvari@gmail.com 3 Comments

Asher was a swaddle houdini.  No matter how I swaddled him he always managed to get the fabric up around his face and I was worried that he would suffocate.  Not swaddling wasn’t an option due to his over active arms, which would constantly flail about and keep him awake, so I was thrilled when I discovered the Woombie. images This thing is seriously amazing.  There was absolutely no way that he could get out of it and I especially love the two way zipper, which made changing his diaper in the middle of the night a breeze.  They also come in a variety of fun colors and styles that suit any situation.  They have fleece ones for winter, cotton and mesh ones for summer and even a slightly tighter one called the ‘houdini‘, which was the very first one that I got Asher.  I eventually ended up getting a second woombie in their original style, just so that I would always have one handy if the other was in the wash.  I am in love!  They come in two sizes, but we never ended up needing to get the bigger size, since we stopped swaddling Asher before he got that big. The whole idea is that it’s supposed to mimic being in the womb.  The babies can still move their limbs about and bring their arms up to their chest (which is much nicer than having their arms strapped to their sides) but they can’t escape, which is key. At around $26 a piece, they are a bit pricey for a swaddler, but they’re a good quality stretchy fabric that held up beautifully to countless washes and I’ll be able to use them again for the future babes.  Overall I am really impressed with the Woombie. I suggest getting two, I thought I’d be able to get by with just one, but boy was I mistaken.  Get two, trust me.  The houdini is a bit tighter and shorter than the original.  So I suggest starting with the original and going from there.

IMG_1192I’m sorry, for this awful picture, but I promise he really did like it better than any other swaddle.  This is just the way Asher looked at me or anyone for that matter for the first two months of his life, with deep unbridled concern.  In fact, I took this very picture in order to send Rafaan an email, saying something like “this is why you need to be extra affectionate, how would you feel if you spent your day with someone who looked at you like this 95% of the time?”

Thank goodness, he’s all smiles now!

I should also mention that for the first couple months we only took iphone pictures of him, so that’s why all his early pictures are sub par.  I’m kicking myself over this, but at least his early months got documented.  Lastly, I’ll mention that one of Raf’s favorite things to do was free him from his cocoon after a long nap and to watch him perform an amazing stretch.

Seriously, the woombie was a lifesaver.

Filed Under: Product review Tagged With: baby, infant, mommy approved, product review, sleep aid, sleep pod, swaddler, woombie

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