Lauren on Living

A Lifestyle Blog about Simplifying Healthy Living

Big Life Changes

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So admittedly I’ve been pretty completely m.i.a for the past 8 months. This space has been utterly and completely neglected. It’s not that I haven’t wanted to sit down and write but I’ve just been so overwhelmed with all the changes happening in our lives that I haven’t had the mental head space to do so.

What’s been going on you ask? Just about every major thing you can think of, well not really, but you get where I’m going.

First let me fill you in on a little of what we’ve been up to. This past July the four of us jetted off to Florence, Italy to celebrate the union of my sweet cousin Siria and her Scottish groom Ashkan. Raf and I spent part of our Honeymoon in Florence and seeing as how that was in the middle of winter, it was so nice to go back and experience the stunning city in balmy weather.

img_0136Siria and Ashkan’s wedding was something out of a fairytale. It was held in the stunning Tuscan villa, with the ceremony overlooking the rolling hills and cypress trees, while the reception was held in the garden lined with olive and lemon trees. It was unreal. The best part was being able to be there with so many members of my extended family. Here are the kids with their Great Grandma Carol.

img_0191Raf has been itching to leave his government job for a while now, and after applying to a few places he got hired as the Lead Data Scientist at a really cool start up that allows him to work remotely. So we started asking ourselves “if we can go anywhere do we really want to stay in the D.C. area?” Basically, the answer was a resounding “no.” Right around the time that this was happening my parent’s decided to leave China and move to Maine, where they had built a house. At the same time, my dad started a foundation call SolHEALTH devoted to promoting health and preventing disease, one population at a time and he asked me to come work for him. Now since we had only owned our house for a year and a half we knew that selling it would be tough, especially since we didn’t want to lose any money. So we decided to test the market and basically over-priced it, cleaned it up and went to stay with my parents for a few weeks. Well to make a long story short, the house sold. We played hard ball and it still sold. Ten days before closing we started packing. We found a place to rent in Maine and drove north. Here’s a picture of us in front of our first home in Virginia, right before we got in the car and left for good.

img_0398Ok, so now we’re in Maine. Now what?! Do we even want to be here?! What have we done?! We HATE THE COLD!!!!

Those were just a few of the thoughts that went through our heads right after the move. It was kinda surreal how it all happened so fast. Raf and I didn’t really have time to catch our breath. But with the thought that being near family would be good for us, the slower pace of life in southern Maine was exactly what we needed, and that being closer also allowed me to work for SolHEALTH more easily, we powered on.  We got to Maine at the end of August and although I was concerned about finding Asher a preschool that was still accepting students, it was actually pretty easy.

Here he is on his first day of Preschool!

img_0448Raf and I began looking for houses and in under 2 weeks we had put an offer on a house which was then accepted and on Halloween day we moved in. Needless to say, I had to break from my tradition of DIY Halloween costumes although I was dying to dress them as characters from Stranger Things. Asher really wanted to be an Astronaut and with everything going on I honestly welcomed the ease of ready-made costumes.

img_0580The past few weeks have been a whirlwind of unpacking and settling in. Raf has been painting every weekend and I’ve been nesting like crazy, because oh yea, I forgot to mention…baby number 3 is due December 3rd!! We’re having another girl and we couldn’t be more thrilled albeit stressed and exhausted from everything else going on.

Raf has really been so amazing during this whole time. Not only is he adjusting to a whole new normal in his career and day to day life but he also has a pregnant emotional wife and two small children who’s lives all just got uprooted as well. It’s been an incredibly stressful time for all of us but being near my parents has made it all worth it.

Life in Maine thus far has been interesting. We’re adjusting to the cold and slowly making friends. The pace of life here is much slower than we’re used to, which is both a blessing and an adjustment. The other day Raf looked out our window and saw some people walking their goats down our street. Yes, you read that correctly. Goats. It’s pretty awesome. Wild turkeys roam free and I’ve nearly (not really) hit a deer in the middle of the road on two separate occasions. It is stunningly beautiful and the people are super friendly if not a bit reserved at first. We are nervous about the fact that spring doesn’t come up here until MAY, but we are looking forward to living in a place where snow doesn’t shut down EVERYTHING.

img_0566So there you have it. In a couple weeks things will only get even crazier with the arrival of our newest little one, but hey at least that’ll give me a lot more blog material! Bright side, right? AND can I just say that I am SO looking forward to having another sweet little baby to snuggle! I’m already sad about how fast my time with her as a baby will go by and she isn’t even here yet. Seriously, the baby period is so fleeting and being firmly settled in the knowledge of the fact is both a blessing and a curse of being an experienced parent.

For Your Reading Pleasure // How to Have the Best Pregnancy Ever

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tracie egan morrisseyThere is so much information and misinformation circling around out there about what is and isn’t safe during pregnancy and a lot of the time it’s completely contradictory.  This can be incredibly confusing and stressful, especially for a pregnant woman who already has enough on her plate to worry about.  Tracie Egan Morriseey wrote THIS tongue in cheek article that is absolutely spot on.    It just goes to show that you shouldn’t take any one field of thought that you read on the internet too seriously.  Your best bet is to speak to a professional directly.

So read this.

Postpartum Care Package

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My cousin had a really long and difficult labor so I decided to put together a little postpartum care package for her to make the transition home a little easier, because let’s be honest, having a newborn is amazing but it can also be pretty challenging.

Here’s what I sent her:

Galactagogue Milk Production Cookies:  My midwives gave me this recipe after I had Asher.  These cookies aren’t the tastiest things mainly because they’re pretty dry, but they do help support your milk supply, so you can’t argue with that.  I listed the recipe at the end of this post.

Always Radiant Incredibly Thin Liners (unscented):  Once the heavy postpartum bleeding (lochia) subsides, these liners were incredibly useful in dealing with the lighter stuff.  They are SUPER comfortable.  Seriously, I didn’t even notice they were there.  They also can come in handy if you have a difficult time holding your urine postpartum.  CLICK.

Arnicare Arnica Gel:  This stuff is amazing! Use it on your nether regions to sooth and promote healing.  Seriously, AMAZING.  CLICK. You should also be able to find it at Whole Foods.

Hand Lotion:  If you’re like me, when you have a newborn you kind of become obsessed with washing your hands, so a good hand cream can prevent dry, cracked skin, especially since dehydration is par for the course when it comes to the postpartum time.  All that water you’re guzzling is going straight to your milk supply. Which brings me to…

Dried Fruit:  Allow me to introduce you to dehydration’s nasty little friend, constipation.  Generally the hospital will recommend that you take Colace and I TOTALLY agree, but it doesn’t hurt to stack the deck with some good old fashioned fiber.  Bran muffins are also a good call.  I opted to send the dried mango that you can find in the bulk food bins at most Whole Foods, because it’s SO good.

Witch Hazel/Tucks Pads:  Helps to reduce swelling and sooth your sore nether regions.  Also useful if you got hemorrhoids.

Bath Salts: Every woman deserves some ‘me’ time during the postpartum period that doesn’t just involve sleeping, although that is important too.  Nurse your little one and then hand the baby over to dad or any other willing volunteer that you trust and give yourself a nice steamy soak.  The hot water will help get the blood flowing, which in turn speeds up healing and a fragrant bath is just far more relaxing and luxurious than your run of the mill sitz bath.

Breastfeeding Bracelet:  It’s not always easy to remember what side you need to breastfeed on next, so having a bracelet that you can easily move from side to side is super handy.  I opted for chewbeads, because they can double as teethers later on.  CLICK.  You should always start on the side your baby fed on last, that way you ensure that your baby will drain your breast completely (which can help prevent mastitis) and gets the higher calorie hind milk.

Lullaby CD:  To help sooth the little one.  We made this CD part of Asher’s nightly routine and whenever he hears it, he knows it’s time to wind down and go to bed.

A Daddy Gift: Don’t leave Dad out.  He deserves a little something nice too.  I included Peanut Butter cookies, because this Dad LOVES them and dark chocolate covered espresso beans because he’s really into coffee and the caffeine doesn’t hurt either when you have a newborn.

I also sent some coupons that I didn’t need and thought she may be able to use.  Babies are pricey y’all!

Here are some more ideas of things that you could include in a postpartum care package:

Nursing pads

A nice bedside carafe or water bottle

Sitz bath salts or herbs

Fenugreek capsules

Mother’s milk tea

Breast heating/cooling pads

C-Panty Incision Care Panty -For moms who have had a c-section

Nursing tank tops

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Midwives Milk Production Power and Comfort Cookies Recipe
2 c whole wheat pastry flour (regular whole wheat ok too)
1 cup oats
½ cup ground flax seeds
½ cup nutritional yeast (not baker’s yeast but the yellow flakes)
1 tsp baking soda
1 tsp salt
1 cup butter softened
1 cup raw sugar
1 tsp vanilla
2 organic eggs
2 cups dark chocolate chips
1 cup walnuts
Mix up the dry, add to the creamed wet and bake at 350 until golden.

Pregnancy Weight Gain

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In general the amount of weight that a woman should gain during pregnancy varies significantly depending on her body type, lifestyle and health factors.  Women who are underweight before getting pregnant generally gain more weight than women who are overweight before getting pregnant.  Many women within a normal weight range for their height (Body Mass Index, BMI) are told that they should gain between 25-30 pounds by the end of their pregnancies, with the majority of the weight being gained in the second half of the pregnancy.

My Weight Gain Timeline:

March 13th:  I had a doctor’s appointment 2 days before I conceived and I weighed in at 130 pounds (I’m 5 feet 5.5 inches tall), this was a little heavier than my normal weight of 125 pounds but my body was still getting back to normal after my first pregnancy and subsequent miscarriage.

April 25th:  At my first prenatal appointment I was 8 weeks pregnant and I weighed 139 pounds, which meant I had already gained 9 pounds, which was slightly unusual.

So things get a little hazy from here, until my 25 week appointment, but in general I was gaining smaller amounts of weight each month, 4 pounds here, 2 pounds there.

August 24th: At my 25 week appointment I weighed 153 pounds!! Meaning a total of 23 pounds gained thus far.  At this point I totally freaked out, because I was only just over half way through my pregnancy and most women gain the most weight during the third trimester.

September 14th:  151 pounds…odd that I lost 2 pounds, but I had been making a conscious effort to eat better and exercise more. Total weight gain = 21 pounds.

September 25th: 153 pounds.  Total weight gain 23 pounds

Fast forward a bit, since my weight pretty much stayed between 153-155 pounds and would just fluctuate back and forth at each appointment I had.

November 14th: 37 weeks pregnant and I weigh 154 pounds…so still staying right around where things have been for the past 12 weeks .  Total weight gain = 24 pounds.

It’s pretty atypical for a woman to gain all her weight during pregnancy during the first half and hardly anything in the second half, but this just goes to show that pregnancy weight gain can look very different on different people.  Some women (like me) gain weight in clusters, while some gain weight gradually over time.

November 20th: 38 weeks pregnant and I weigh 155 pounds. Total weight gain = 25 pounds

November 26th: 39 weeks pregnant and I weigh 159 pounds.  Gained 4 pounds this week, which is not surprising after I gorged myself and was completely sedentary during Thanksgiving. Total weight gain = 29 pounds

December 6th: 40 weeks pregnant and I weigh 157 pounds.  Lost 2 pounds from last week, which is odd, since I haven’t been very active and I’ve had more junk food than normal, but my midwife says the baby is a good size. Total weight gain = 27 pounds

December 11th:  Asher Nathan Anvari is born at 11:36pm, weighing in at 7 pounds 11.5 ounces.

December 24th:  2 weeks postpartum, and weighing 139 pounds. I think the large quantities of water I have been drinking curbed my appetite and I haven’t been consuming as many calories as I need to.  Lost 18 pounds, still have 14 more to go.

January 8th: 4 weeks postpartum and weighing 139 pounds.  I have been making an active effort to eat more to help support my milk supply.

January 22nd: 6 weeks postpartum and weighing 137 pounds.  Lost 20 pounds, still have 12 more to go, but I’m in no rush, the most important thing is that I eat enough to maintain my milk supply and that I start to regain some muscle tone so I don’t feel so weak.

So there you have it.  I could fit into some of my pre-pregnancy pants by 9 days postpartum, even if I did need to squeeze into them, however my maternity pants are too loose, so I’m in an awkward in-between stage, luckily I spend 95% of my time in pajamas or sweatpants.

Did You Know? Pregnancy Weeks Vs. Months

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When you get pregnant your due date is calculated roughly 40 weeks from the first day of your last period.  40 weeks.  I once heard a guest lecturer in one of my graduate classes say that most people believed that pregnancy was 9 months long, when in fact it was 10 months long and she backed this up by saying that 40 weeks, with 4 weeks in each month added up to 10 months.  At the time my mind was totally blown, but then I started thinking about it and I realized something that should have been blatantly obvious all along:  Most months are longer than 4 weeks.  There are exactly 4 weeks in the month of February (when it isn’t a leap year) but that’s the only month where that rule applies, for the rest of the months, that leaves 2 or 3 days unaccounted for, which over the course of a pregnancy can really add up.

So what am I getting at?  Well, if you want to wait until you’re 3 months pregnant to announce your pregnancy and you announce it when you’re 12 weeks pregnant, then you are announcing just over a week early.  During my first pregnancy I was one of those people.  I announced I was pregnant at 12 weeks exactly only to find out at 13 weeks that I had miscarried.   Had I waiting until I was actually 3 months pregnant I would have known about the miscarriage before making the announcement and I would have been able to avoid a lot of questions and explanations that I didn’t want to deal with at the time.

I can’t tell you how many times I hear women say that they are 5 months pregnant when they go for their 20 week ultrasound, or 7 months pregnant when they are 28 weeks along.  This just is not correct.  It’s like when someone says: “for all intense and purposes” rather than “for all intents and purposes.” More than anything I just want to educate people about what’s accurate and correct.

My 40 week mark is December 5th.  I was exactly 9 months pregnant as of December 1st, which means that by my 40 week mark I will be 9 months and 4 days pregnant…nowhere NEAR 10 months.  Just saying.

*As a side note, I think it’s worth mentioning that the average pregnancy actually lasts 41 1/7 weeks, which is why even though my due date is December 5th, I tell everyone I have until December 19th in the hopes that this will help quell all the calls and messages I have been getting from people who are lovingly over eager for the baby to arrive.*

Guidelines for Nutrition in Pregnancy

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I decided to wait to post this until after Thanksgiving as to not make anyone feeling guilty for indulging in the holiday.  I am a patient of Wisdom Midwifery and I think they are absolutely great!  Here’s a link to their blog as well.  When it comes to normal, low risk pregnancies, birth outcomes are often better when they are attended by Midwives as opposed to Obs, but more on that later.

Right now I am here to talk about nutrition in pregnancy, which is something I get asked about quite often.  Since Wisdom Midwifery has complied a list that I think it pretty on the money, I have included their guidelines below.   I will add the caveat however that I believe it’s ok to stray from these guidelines in moderation from time to time.  Nine months is a LONG time to go without having ANY refined sugar, white food or junk food.  If you’re one of those people who are able to do it then more power to you, but I found that I just didn’t have the will power to follow the guidelines to the letter and in fact attempting to do so stressed me out and gave me a lot of anxiety because I was constantly worrying about what I was eating.  In any case, I digress.

The most important thing is that you are consuming the right amount of nutrients for you and your baby and the food listed bellow will definitely get you there.  For many women their appetites change during pregnancy and as the pregnancy progresses they aren’t able to eat as much in one sitting as they were before (due to their stomach being squished).   Due to this, it is important that the foods you choose to put in your stomach (for the most part) have as many good healthy nutrients as possible.

Wisdom Midwifery Nutritional Guidelines

Every day, consume the following:

10-12 glasses of fresh water
Fruits and veggies: 6-8 servings per day including two leafy greens, one yellow one and one orange one
Whole grains: 3-4 servings
Calcium rich foods – dairy or soy products : 2-4 servings per day
Protein foods: eggs, meat, fish, chicken, beans: 2-4 servings per day
Flax seeds 1-2 Tbs ground

Eliminate from your diet, to the best of your ability:

All refined sugar
All white foods: white bread, rice, flour, sugar, potatoes
No more than one glass of fruit juice, preferably orange, per day
Hydrogenated or partially hydrogenated vegetable oil
Alcohol
Caffeine: No more than 1 cup per day
Nicotine

These dietary guidelines are designed to do three very important things:

(1) Keep your blood sugar at an even level throughout the day.

(2) Expand your blood volume properly so that you can circulate for both yourself and the baby. Not accomplishing these things can make you feel poorly during pregnancy and can lead to serious complications.

(3) Grow a baby that is appropriately sized for your body and pelvis: consuming the processed and fast foods so readily available to us may promote the growth of a baby that is larger than your body can deliver.

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In addition to these guidelines, I also add that it’s a good idea to avoid: raw or under cooked meat, raw or under cooked eggs, unpasteurized cheeses or dairy, processed meat (unless they have been heated to steaming, these include: deli meat, bacon, etc.) and fish that is high in mercury.

As always you should talk to your care provider about what you should and shouldn’t be eating while pregnant.

Did You Know? Eating for Two

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Did you know that the whole “you’re eating for two and therefore you can eat twice as much” while you’re pregnant philosophy is a complete myth?  Well it is.  While it is true that you are technically providing sustenance for 2 people, yourself and your baby, it is not true that that means you can or should eat twice as much.  In fact during pregnancy you only need 300 extra calories a day (that’s like an apple and a yogurt cup).  So when people try to add food to your plate or tell you to eat more because you’re “eating for two”, just smile polity and go about your business OR you can give them a lesson on caloric intake during pregnancy, however I have found that this isn’t always received very warmly.  I generally recommend that pregnant women eat when they’re truly hungry.  I say ‘truly’ hungry because I find that a lot of women give themselves a free-pass to eat as much and as often as they want during pregnancy and that doesn’t always translate into eating because they’re hungry.  It could mean eating because they feel like indulging, or are bored and they justify it by telling themselves that they are eating for two.  Also what you eat matters, but I’ll be doing a separate post about nutrition in pregnancy so check back for that.

On Getting Pregnant

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In March 2011 Rafaan and I decided that we were ready to start a family and much to our surprise I got pregnant after only 1 month of trying.  Sadly that pregnancy ended in a miscarriage in June 2011 and after waiting the two months that were recommended by my care provider we decided to start trying again in August 2011.  Well things did not happen as quickly the second time around, it took us 7 months to get pregnant, which in the grand scheme of things isn’t very long, but after having a miscarriage it felt like an eternity and I began to worry that something was wrong.  So this is our journey with trying to conceive (TTC), what worked for us and some general preconception health information.

First off let me say that ANY and ALL women who are sexually active should be taking a daily prenatal vitamin, even if you are not intending to get pregnant and even if you are actively trying to prevent pregnancy.  The reason for this being that accidents happen.  In fact in the US nearly half of all pregnancies are unintended.  Prenatal vitamins specifically contain folic acid which helps prevent neural tube defects and in the 2 weeks between fertilization and a missed period those neural tubes have already begun to form, so it’s important that folic acid already be in the mother’s system.  Just take a prenatal vitamin in place of a daily women’s multi-vitamin and go about your merry way.

The first thing you should do when you begin thinking about having a baby is to go see your doctor for some pre-conception counseling.  You want to make sure you are in the best health possible when you get pregnant and going to pre-conception counseling can help get you there if you aren’t already.

Back to my story:  In August we started trying again and at first we decided that we wouldn’t actively try but that we would just stop using contraception and see what happens.  Well that plan went out the window really fast after I realized that I was still consciously trying to get pregnant regardless of us wanting to just “go with the flow.”  So that’s when I decided to buy a bunch of ovulation predictor kits (OPks) and started peeing on them every day, well despite getting positive reading from the OPKs and timing our baby making sessions around them, I still wasn’t getting pregnant and I started to feel like I didn’t have a clue about my body, and being that my chosen field was maternal and child health, this kind of made me feel a bit lost.  A friend of mine recommended the book Taking Charge of Your Fertility, which is an AMAZING resource. I seriously can’t say enough about how great this book is.  I believe all women should own a copy of this book because it’s about so much more than just pregnancy.  Seriously, take a look!  Through using this book I learnt how to chart my fertility cycles and to become in tuned with my body so that I could recognize when I was nearing ovulation. It only took 3 months of charting my cycles for me to get pregnant and during the process I felt really empowered and that I finally understood my body again.   For those of you who don’t know what charting your cycles entails, you basically take your waking temperature every morning using a basal body thermometer and you also keep track of your cervical mucus.  It sounds complicated, but it really is SUPER simple and easy.  If anyone wants more details about how exactly to do it or you have been charting and are confused by what you’re seeing please just leave a comment or send me an email and I’d be happy to help.

I also went to see a fertility acupuncturist, who again came highly recommended by a friend AND did fertility acupuncture work at Johns Hopkins.  She put me on 2 herbal supplements; Fertile Garden and Astra Essence  and told me that I needed to take 6 pills of each a day.  Now I can’t say whether or not these pills actually had an effect on me getting pregnant, but I can say that I got pregnant the first full month I was taking them.  The friend who recommended me also got pregnant using these pills not once but twice!  The first time it was after 10 months of TTC and she got pregnant the first month she was on the pills and then again the same thing happened with her third child.  I have since recommended these pills to a cousin of mine and she got pregnant the first month she used them too. Maybe this is all a coincidence, I can’t say for sure, but what I can say is that you should talk to a medical professional before taking any and all supplements.  Don’t self medicate!

Once I got a confirmed pregnancy test reading on April 1st, 2012, I stopped taking the herbal supplements and then tried to be as positive as possible, but actually being pregnant is a whole other story all together, so stay tuned.

Here are some articles for anyone interested in learning more about folic acid as prevention for neural tube defects:

Blencowe, H., Cousens, S., Modell, B., & Lawn, J. (2010). Folic acid to reduce neonatal mortality from neural tube disorders. International Journal of Epidemiology , 110-121.

Laurence, K. M., James, N., Miller, M. H., Tennant, G. B., & Campbell, H. (1981 ). Double-blind randomised controlled trial of folate treatment before conception to prevent recurrence of neural-tube defects. British Medical Journal , 1509-1511.

Werler, M. M., Shapiro, S., & Mitchell, A. A. (1993). Periconceptional Folic Acid Exposure and Risk of Occurrent Neural Tube Defects. JAMA , 1257-1261.  *Sorry I couldn’t find a free link to the full text of this one*